• Talk with your children ahead of time about any changes they might see in Grandma since the last visit. Reassure them that it's part of the illness and nothing to do with them.
• Set a time limit for the visit. Young children get tired; so do grandparents. Also, if little ones make a lot of noise, or run up and down the halls, it can be too much for grandma.
• Enjoy activities with grandma, such as listening to music, playing a game or reading stories.
• If children feel uncomfortable or frightened during the visit, they might prefer sitting on a parent's lap to an activity with grandma.
• Unless you are certain they can cope with and accept it, don't leave young children alone or in charge at the visit.
• Emphasize that simply being with grandma and showing her love and affection is the most important thing that the child or young person can do.
• Talk to children after the visit. Ask if they have any questions. Or help them understand why grandma might have become upset or confused during the visit.

 

Dear Ernie and Jannette,

My mother, Elsa, is 68 and is planning a trip to visit us in Texas. She wants to spend some time with us next month, but her doctors and physical therapist are all in Northern Virginia, where she lives. I am wondering what would happen if she gets sick or injured and has to be hospitalized while she is visiting? How can a hospital retrieve her incapacity planning documents, if needed? It would give me much peace of mind about her taking the trip if we were certain they could access her wishes, should something happen to her.

N. "Casey" Neede-Momsdox

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Dear Casey,

Incapacity planning documents only do what your mother wants them to do if you know they exist and can locate them when you or medical professionals needs them. If you or medical professionals cannot find your mother's Advance Medical Directive, the burden may be on you and your siblings (or your mother's spouse if she's married) to decide whether or not to begin or continue life support. Therefore, in order for your mother's documents to be easily accessible when needed, they should be registered with an electronic archive service that can immediately send the documents to any desired destination.

At The Fairfax Medicaid and Fredericksburg Elder Law Firm of Evan H. Farr, P.C., we offer a service called DocuBank to ensure that that the documents your mother has completed will be there when she needs them most, such as if she is hospitalized. 

DocuBank is an electronic storage and access service for Advance Medical Directives and other important legal documents.  DocuBank stores your Advance Medical Directive, HIPAA Release, and any other legal documents you wish to store, so they are available whenever you need them.

How does DocuBank work?

DocuBank can transmit your mother's Advance Medical Directive to hospitals within moments, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, around the world, so in your situation, hospitals in Texas can gain access to your mother's documents if they are needed. 

Watch this video about DocuBank for more details.

Docubank is a special service we provide to clients of The Law Firm of Evan H. Farr, P.C. who set up Advance Medical Directives such as those listed in your first question. Once you are set up, the DocuBank Emergency card arrives within 4-6 weeks of enrollment and comes with alert stickers to be placed on your driver's license. Once you receive it, be sure to carry your DocuBank Emergency Card in your wallet at all times (next to your insurance card). Hope you come by and take advantage of this great service soon!

Every adult over the age of 18 should have an Incapacity Plan that includes a Financial Power of Attorney, an Advance Medical Directive, and an Advance Care Plan.  In addition, if your mother hasn't done so already, she should start planning for long-term care. Please suggest that she call the Fairfax Estate Planning and Fredericksburg Elder Law Firm of Evan H. Farr, P.C. to set up an appointment for a no-cost consultation at 703-691-1888.