When Caregiver Stress Becomes Extreme

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Q. My aunt Rae, 84, was the primary caregiver for my Uncle Leo, who suffers from dementia. Leo would wander, so Rae couldn't leave him alone, and she missed the conversations she and Leo used to have. Rae became resentful and depressed because she had to forego her dreams of world travel and didn’t even spend time with friends anymore. She became so stressed about her situation that she attempted suicide, but thankfully she was unsuccessful.

Rae was good at putting on a happy face, so the family did not perceive the severity of the caregiver burden she was experiencing. Rae did not leave a note, but later stated that she fully intended to kill herself. While recovering in the hospital, Rae expressed relief at not having caregiver responsibilities. Uncle Leo was moved to a nursing home and Rae was given medication and attended therapy sessions to help with her depression. She began to do more of the things she loved and felt much better about her situation.

The scenario described above could have taken an extremely sad and scary turn. My mother (Rae's sister) is a caregiver for my father, and she sometimes sounds depressed when I speak with her on the phone. What are the signs of extreme caregiver burnout, so we can step in to help if needed, and what can be done to help relieve some of the stress?

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Critter Corner: Dealing with the Emotions of Caregiving

Dear Ribbit,

I recently became a caregiver for my mother after she had a stroke. I am completely new at this, being a single woman in my 40's. Many emotions are beginning to surface, such as anger, anxiety, irritability, frustration, and even disgust. I'm not sure what to do about all these emotions, and how I can feel more at ease in my role. Please help if you can.

Thanks,
Emma Oceans



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