Am I a Helicopter Child, and If So, Why is That a Bad Thing?

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Q. I heard my sister and brother talking about my mother’s care the other day when they thought I couldn’t hear them. I distinctly remember them mentioning the term “helicopter child,” and they were referring to me!

I have heard the term “helicopter” parent, and I know that it refers to someone who has the tendency to hover over children and swoop in to rescue them at the first sign of trouble. I admit that I have some of that going on with my children, but with her, I’m just trying to be a responsible caregiver.

I may seem controlling sometimes, but I attribute that to the fact that I have a Type-A personality, and want to make sure my mom has everything in order, and that every detail is covered so she has the best quality of life. She did it for me, and now its my turn to pay her back.

In my view of things, I am a great caregiver and mom is lucky to have someone like me around. My brother and sister are lucky too, because they don’t have to be as involved in her care or make tough decisions on her behalf. Please explain what it means to be called a “helicopter child,” and why that’s a bad thing.
 

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Critter Corner: Mistakes Adult Siblings Make When Caregiving for a Parent


 

Dear Bebe,

When I was growing up, I was the organized one who was responsible and did what he was told, and my sister was also pretty on-top of things. My brother–not so much. Now, we are at a point where we need to work together to be caregivers for our dad, who lives in my sister’s neighborhood (my brother lives in 10 hours away Florida and I live about half an hour away from my dad). For our dad’s sake, I want us to work together and do the best we can collectively.

My siblings and I typically learn from mistakes, but in this case since we’re so new at this, we don’t have any yet. What are some mistakes adult siblings make when caregiving for a parent, and how can we avoid them in our new roles?

Thanks,

Omri Sponsible

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