How to Maintain an Emotional Connection to Someone with Alzheimer’s

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Geri Taylor (69) had recently retired from her job in health administration, when she started noticing changes in herself. For some time, she had experienced forgetfulness at work. For instance, when she was leading a staff meeting, she realized she had no idea what she was talking about. She got past the episode by quickly handing off the meeting to a colleague.

Certain mundane tasks stumped Geri, such as how to pull up her blinds and how to navigate the NYC subway, when she previously got off at the same stop every day. Her memory got so bad that at one point, she didn't recognize her own face in the mirror.

Geri confided her fears to her husband, Jim, and made an appointment with a neurologist. The doctor listened to her symptoms, took blood, and gave her a standard cognitive test. She was asked to count backward from 100 in intervals of seven. She had to say the phrase “No ifs, ands, or buts.” He asked her to remember three common words; when he called for them later, she knew only one. That day, Geri was given a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment (MCI), a common precursor to Alzheimer’s disease. She understood it was indicative of what would come—Alzheimer’s had affected her father, an aunt, and a cousin. So, she had long suspected it would eventually find her.

Alzheimer’s is degenerative and incurable, and it affects nearly 44 million people worldwide. People live with it for eight to ten years on average, though some last for 20 years. In Geri's health-care career, she had seen Alzheimer’s in action. Now she would live it.

How Most People Handle an Alzheimer's Diagnosis

Those who learn they have Alzheimer's or another form of dementia may suffer from depression. They may try to hide their symptoms and retreat from their everyday life. But Geri chose to handle Alzheimer’s differently, with defiance and as a new beginning.

Her belief system was optimism. She never cried. Depression, she knew, would lead her down a path she didn’t want to visit and held nothing good for her. Instead, the disease made her want to live life to the fullest. She vowed to accelerate her longtime interest in photography, and to see friends more often. She aimed to live the most fulfilling days possible at what could've been the bleakest time in her life.

How Her Family Handled It

When Geri told her family about her diagnosis, some accepted the news, while others quibbled. At the same time as Geri was maintaining her optimism and keeping her chin up, her circle of friends and relatives were trying to hold on tightly to the bond they once had. But, is this possible and if so, how?

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