Don't Let Your Mother-in-Law Get Duped
Published: Fri, 02/14/14
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Ask the Expert: Your Elder Law Questions Answered by Evan H. Farr, CELA |
Don't Let Your Mother-in-Law Get Duped
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Betty White as Rose Nylund- NBC
Q. My 70 year old mother-in-law, Geraldine, is a lot like the character "Rose" from the 80's sitcom, Golden Girls. Although she was always a kind and gentle person, she is becoming more and more naive and trusting. You would never believe that just five years ago, she was a successful business owner who made sound decisions. Now my husband tells me the doctor thinks she is in the early stages of dementia. We are very concerned about her decision-making capabilities. I was over at her apartment one day with my son, who was home from college, and she picked up a call on her cell phone from a telemarketer. Next thing I know, she was giving him her personal information. I signaled for her to stop and hang up. When she got off the phone, she told me that the caller was promising the "investment opportunity of a lifetime." She will be moving in with our family soon, but the calls may not stop, since many of them are on her cell phone. I might not always be around to stop her from giving her information out. How can I convince her, before it is too late, that calls such as the one we witnessed are most likely fraudulent? A. Sadly, with the increasing proportion of aging baby boomers, such as your mother-in-law, criminals are under the impression that they have a wealth of potential victims. According to a survey on elder fraud from Investor Protection Trust, 20% of unsuspecting retirees become victims of financial fraud. The same study reveals that one in every five Americans over 65, or about 7.5 million people, has lost money through financial fraud. As we age, our ability to discern the credible from the not-so-credible decreases. And retirees in the early stages of diseases like dementia or Alzheimer's, such as your mother-in-law, are more prone to fall for illegitimate phone, mail, or email-based money-grabbing schemes. As a rule of thumb, if it seems too good to be true, it's probably a scam. With that in mind, since you can't be around all the time, gently remind your mother-in-law not to sign up for sweepstakes, travel giveaways, or suspicious free gift offers. According to the National Consumers League fraud center, once the scam bait has been taken, her contact information may end up on a "suckers list," where it's collected and then sold to outside parties. From that time onward, she will likely find herself receiving a plethora of fake mailings and phone calls. The following are some common scams that target seniors:
Of course, there are plenty of other scams out there, including phony charities asking for donations, advance-fee loans, fake checks and identity theft. Read the FBI Common Fraud Schemes Web page or the Better Business Bureau Scam Stopper Web page for more details and be sure to report any scams to the Better Business Bureau. You mentioned that your mother in law was diagnosed with dementia. Persons with dementia and their families face special legal and financial needs. At The Fairfax and Fredericksburg Dementia Planning Law Firm of Evan H. Farr, P.C., we are dedicated to easing the financial and emotional burden on those suffering from dementia and their loved ones. If you have a loved one who is suffering from dementia, we can help you prepare for your future financial and long-term care needs. We help protect the family's hard-earned assets while maintaining your loved one's comfort, dignity, and quality of life by ensuring eligibility for critical government benefits. If you have not done Long-Term Care Planning, Estate Planning or Incapacity Planning (or had your Planning documents reviewed in the past several years), or if you have a loved one, such as your mother-in-law, who is nearing the need for long-term care or already receiving long-term care, call us at 703-691-1888 in Fairfax or 540-479-1435 in Fredericksburg to make an appointment for a no-cost consultation. ----- ![]() Do People with Alzheimer's Still Feel Happiness and Love?
![]() Dear Saki and Alley,
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I want to visit my grandmother, Rosie, at her nursing home. She has Alzheimer's. I was wondering if even though she doesn't recognize me, is she still happy to see me?
Love,
Val N. Tine
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Dear Val,
Researchers have discovered that emotions outlast memories for people with Alzheimer's. According to a recent study, the effect is so strong that regularly visiting with patients with Alzheimer's can profoundly improve their mood.
The study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed individuals with dementia clips of happy and sad movies. Although the participants could not recall what they had watched, they retained the emotions elicited by the clips. The movies triggered the appropriate emotion, ranging from intense laughter during happy films to tears of sadness during sad ones.
About 10 minutes after the clip ended, researchers gave patients a memory test to see if they could recall what they had watched.
As expected, the patients did not remember. A healthy person recalls about 30 details from each clip, but one patient could not recall a single detail. On a positive note, they still felt the emotion. Sadness tended to last a bit longer than happiness, but both emotions lasted well beyond their memory of the films.
The study offers some good news for caregivers and loved ones of individuals with Alzheimer's disease who may feel they are having no effect. Justin Feinstein, the lead author and a neuroscience and psychology researcher, said: "A simple visit or phone call from family members might have a lingering positive influence on a patient's happiness even though the patient may quickly forget the visit or phone call. "On the other hand, routine neglect from staff at nursing homes may leave the patient feeling sad, frustrated and lonely even though the patient can't remember why."
According to Feinstein, "Here is clear evidence showing that the reasons for treating Alzheimer's patients with respect and dignity go beyond simple human morals."
So, to answer your question, even though your grandmother might not remember you, she will still feel happy and loved during your visit, and will probably maintain her good mood even after you have left.
XOXO,
Saki and Alley
About Saki and Alley: Saki and Alley are nine year old Siamese cats that belong to Jeannie and Evan Farr and live here at the Farr Law Firm. They are very sweet and smart and love all the attention they get from staff and friendly clients at the firm. We encourage you to visit us and meet these extraordinary Siamese cats! |
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