Saying Goodbye to the Family Home: Helping Your Aging Loved One Grieve a Move
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Q. My mother, Wendy, has lived in the same home for over 50 years. She and my father stretched their budget and bought the home together in the 60’s and have made quite a few memories there. They watched four of us grow up there, gardened there, held Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, birthdays and graduation parties, met our future spouses when we brought them home, enjoyed visits with grandchildren,
welcomed and lost several family pets, and cared for my ill father until he passed away there six years ago.
Several of our neighbors are the same as they have always been, with the exception of the young families that have moved in. The location near the beltway is perfect, the street is quiet, and despite the age of the homes, people keep them up well. It was a fantastic neighborhood to grow up in, and my mother has lifelong memories attached to the home.
The time came recently that my mother told my brothers and I that she could no longer handle the daily responsibilities of the family home and that it has gotten to be too much for her. She found an assisted living facility that works well for the time being, while she can still manage independently with a little help available when she needs it. She seemed all set and ready to go, which should have
been a relief, but it wasn’t.
When the realtor came to take a look at the house before putting it on the market, I could tell this wasn’t going to be easy for mom. Houses sell quick in the neighborhood and there were three offers that first weekend. Mom chose a growing family to be the buyers rather than the best offer, because who lives in the house is still very important to her.
Moving day is approaching and mom is acting as if someone died. She mopes around, cries often, looks at photos, and hasn’t slept well in days. I’ve never been in this situation before, so I’m not sure how to handle it. What is the best way to help my mother through this transition?
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Critter Corner: Tips for Seniors Who are Downsizing
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My parents are downsizing and don’t know where to begin. You seem like a neat bunny without a lot of stuff. What advice can you give seniors who are downsizing?
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