Q. When a family friend died last year, his family made it clear there wouldn’t be a traditional funeral service for him. At first I thought this was because of the pandemic, but now I’m not so sure. Instead, they held a
celebration of his life on his next birthday, almost a year after his passing. This allowed out-of-towners plenty of time to make travel arrangements and book hotel rooms. The amount of time from the immediate grieving period to the event made it much easier to truly revel in what an incredible life he’d led—complete with a slideshow and trays of his favorite desserts.
Another friend had his ashes replanted as a tree and my cousin had his ashes scattered in his favorite body of water, where he proposed to his wife on a cruise fifty years ago.
My wife and I thought that we wanted traditional funerals until we saw how nice these options are. Now, we are rethinking things.
My parents are easygoing with whatever I want, but hers are religious and were already considering purchasing plots for us. We have not discussed this with our teenage children either. Is it common not to want a funeral and how do we tell our families without hurting feelings?
