Q. With the recent loss of my father, my mother is now living alone about an hour away from me and my family. When dad died late last year, I grew increasingly worried about her and how she would handle things on her own. She depended on my dad for everything!

My first instinct was to move her to some type of retirement living community. This way, I felt there would be some immediate support if she needed it. But my mother continues to insist on living by herself in her own home. She loves her house, her neighbors, and her community. She claims that she feels supported and comfortable where she is.

I’m glad she feels this way, but when I was over there recently for Mother’s Day, I realized that although she denies it, she really does need help and should not be by herself. I explained this to my own family and decided to stay with my mom for a month to see what she needs and how I can help her.

About two weeks into my stay, when my mother thought I was still sleeping, I overheard her chatting to a friend on the phone. She was saying that she misses her freedom and privacy and that I’ve been overbearing, and she wishes I would go home. I was so hurt and upset about what I heard. I called my best friend to discuss it and told her some of the things I was doing to help and she said I was perhaps being a “helicopter caregiver.” I’ve heard of helicopter parent, but never helicopter caregiver. Can you explain what this is? Also, how can I be there to help my mom without invading her space, as she claims I am doing? Thanks for your help!